Parents’ Relationships vs. Roles: Which Is More Crucial in the Family Dynamic?
Being a parent is difficult enough without adding family dynamics, hierarchy, and relationships into the mix. And being a dad can be even more difficult because so much of the parental help seems more geared toward mums. The main thing any dad wants is a good relationship with their child, right?
But where does that leave your relationship with others, like mum or a different significant other? You find yourself thinking, “Can’t we all just get along?” The answer is yes but it takes work. Of course. Everything that is worthwhile takes work, right? Especially when it comes to parenting.
The interactions between family members are always changing and you never really know what is going on from one day to another when you are a parent. Is your teenager mad at you for reasons unknown to everyone, including her? Does your grade-schooler have a problem getting along in school? Is your significant other complaining that you are not spending enough quality time with them? What can you do about any of this or all of it? Maybe nothing. When it comes to your teenager, she will likely have forgotten all about being mad at you by lunchtime. Your significant other will be fine if you plan a date with them. And your grade-schooler is still young, and you have time to work with them on getting along with others.
Hierarchical structure in your home could be the glue that holds you all together or the chaos that tears you apart. It depends on the structure. You have to know the best way to deal with things like conflict, relationships, rules, and boundaries. It has been shown that a lack of hierarchical structure in a family can cause negative child behaviours, antisocial behaviors, and other children’s conduct issues. Of course, when everyone knows the boundaries, their places in the family, and what they can and cannot do, everyone seems to get along better. That is the hard part — finding that balance.
Everything that is worthwhile takes work, right? Especially when it comes to parenting.
Talk to a Family Counsellor
Talking to an experienced family counselor can be a major help in finding that balance. A functional family is a happy family. Mostly. Obviously, not everyone is going to get along all the time. But knowing how to deal with conflict when it comes up is one of the most important things you can teach them. And yourself. You may not have been there when they took their first step or even for their first boyfriend, but you are there now and it is time to get your place in order so getting a handle on the family structure and dynamics is essential.
Are You Struggling?
If you are having trouble or just need help or advice about your family dynamics, hit up https://www.betterhelp.com/therapists/. All you have to do is click on the link and answer a few questions and you can be talking to a counsellor or therapist in minutes — without an appointment or having to leave the house.
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-related topics.
Today she contributes to free online mental health resource BetterHelp.com.