Q&A with Jason Osmond (a.k.a. @Jasonmarriedup)
Jason Osmond is a dad to two, a husband to one (wife Lauren models on The Price is Right Live, working alongside the likes of Jerry Springer, Todd Newton, and Mark L. Walberg) and is part of the musically famous Osmond family.
Although he doesn’t sing, the marketing professional does have a knack for short, sharp and often hilarious Twitter posts, enlivening followers’ feeds with relayed conversations he’s had with his kids: son Grayson, 4, and daughter Roslyn, 2.
2yo: *Sneezes on my phone while playing a game*
Me: Oh, great. Yuck, honey.
2yo: I sorry. I clean it, Daddy! *starts licking the screen*— Jason Osmond (@Jasonmarriedup) October 25, 2017
Thanks for your time, Jason. Straight on to Twitter: is there a method to your magic? Do you memorise your kids’ comments or are you constantly tapping them into your phone?
I usually don’t have trouble remembering what they’ve said, especially if it made me laugh out loud. Occasionally I jot down a word or two which will prompt me later when I have time to tweet.
There are too many tiny, hilarious moments that would simply slip by if I didn’t record them.
Do you have a ‘litmus test’ of sorts for whether something is worth posting?
Sometimes I’ll look at a situation from a third-person perspective and ask myself if this is something that would be funny in a family sitcom. If I think it might get a studio audience to chuckle, then I’ll risk tweeting it.
4yo: Do it, Dad
Me: No
4: PLEASE
M: That was a one time thing
4: Come ON
M: Okay fine *puts on clown mask*
M: *Pulls up to McDonalds window*— Jason Osmond (@Jasonmarriedup) October 30, 2017
What’s your main motivation behind the tweets?
There are too many tiny, hilarious moments that would simply slip by if I didn’t record them. My end goal is to acquire enough material to write a book later on. I’ve always wanted to write a book.
How much of a game-changer has fatherhood been for you?
HUUUUGE! It’s completely changed my life. You think, “Oh, yeah, sure, we’ll just get married and pop a few kids out and go about our lives the way we planned.”
Nope! Having kids changed my life the way discovering fire changed that one curious Neanderthal’s life way back when.
Don’t get me wrong, I love it. I love my kids and I know being a father has made me a better man. They make life fun and interesting, and quite frankly I don’t know if life would be worth living if I ever lost them.
Becoming a dad changes your relationship with your wife as well. For better and for worse. Mostly for better!
Me: You’re in timeout for 5 mins.
4yo: 1 min
Me: 5 min
4yo: 3 min, and I get ur phone
Me: 5 mins, no phone
4yo: 5 mins and a toy
Me: Ok deal— Jason Osmond (@Jasonmarriedup) October 31, 2017
What do you do well as a dad? What about not so well?
I think I’m great at teaching and playing; not so good at sticking to routines or bedtime rules. I think my kids are starting to get the impression that they can get away with more stuff with me than with mummy, but we’re working on that…
Any advice for fellow dads?
My advice to modern dads it to read James Breakwell‘s book Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. It’s the only dad guide you’ll ever need.
And our Heart Talks question: what five things should each of your kids know before they turn 18?
Oh, good question!
1. Find a way to really, really enjoy learning.
2. Don’t be afraid to be completely honest with yourself and others.
3. Be smart with money, but remember it comes second to family.
4. If you have the chance to live on Mars in the near future, take the opportunity.
5. Remember that the best lessons and jokes in life come from failures.
Me:*Napping outside*
4yo:Wana play soldiers?
M:*half awake*Can I be the dead one?
4:ok*throws dirt in my face*
M:What u doing?
4:Burying u— Jason Osmond (@Jasonmarriedup) October 23, 2017