Four Things My Daughter Says At Mealtime

Mealtimes used to be quiet, relaxed affairs, where most items on my daughter’s plate would disappear (mostly down her gullet).

However, they are slowly becoming a little feistier. I think my toddler daughter has officially entered that ‘fussy eating’ stage whereby she has an uncanny ability to jolt her whole upper body around, Exorcist-style, at the sight of a plate of food she is unfamiliar with.

Accompanying possessed-by-the-devil whinges and whines are also heard.

She is now very vocal about her dinner table needs. Below are four light-hearted phrases which are now firmly embedded into her mealtime routines.

“I no like it…”

You have never tried it before, my cute little human, so how on earth have you come to this conclusion? You are either lying through your teeth or have a unique gift at knowing what something tastes like before you have even tried it. In other words, you are a psychic. Yeah, I thought not. You have decided you do not like it because it is unfamiliar to your senses; you’ve eaten too many Jaffa cakes or you can’t be arsed. I know. But please try it; you may like it. Otherwise, I will put you in the bin instead of this expensive meal. Or worse still, I’ll call the priest in.

Or worse still, I’ll call the priest in.

“Disgusting…”

Huh? Did she just say that? Where has she learned that word from? That word is bigger than her known food knowledge. Does she really know what “disgusting” means? Wow. Well done for saying such a complex word for a small person. [Cue mummy and daddy laughing].

“I want to cuddle mummy…”

No, you don’t. You just want to sit on her lap in order to get out of trying the food that you have never smelt, tasted or even seen before. Mummy is eating her dinner. It is tasty, see? Get on with it before I destroy your evening by throwing your pudding into the cat’s litter tray.

“I want something else…”

Haha. No chance. Now you can either eat what is in front of you and everyone in this house will go to bed living happily ever after or you can go and find somewhere else to live. The choice is yours, my little princess.

Andy Robinson – a.k.a. Poo Daddy – is a UK-based dad and blogger. You can find him on Facebook here, and Instagram here.

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