Please, Don’t Be a D!ck

Dear M & A,

As you go through life it’s important to realise that you won’t get along with everybody you meet. You’d like to think you would, but people are different.

We’re motivated by different things. We have different beliefs, opinions and expectations. Some people are generous, some people are selfish, some empathetic and some are away with the pixies. Some people are mean, some are not. Some will screw you over and some would give you their last dollar.

We all have different stuff going on in our lives. We all have our own worries, fears, pressures and stresses.

All of this means that you shouldn’t take things out on other people. There’s no excuse for being combative or unappreciative of the efforts of others. You are responsible for your own mood and you need to be aware of how your mood impacts on other people. Walk around with a sense of hope and enthusiasm and you’ll see others start to behave the same way. Walk around being shitty and everyone around you will start to get shitty.

That’s not to say you can’t be emotional. It you’re not happy, you don’t have to fake it, just be aware of the impact your mood has on other people. (If you’re not happy, please speak to someone. Try and work out what’s going on. Prolonged unhappiness is a real issue and needs to be tackled head on; speak to your mum and I, speak to your friends. The days of putting up with unhappiness are long gone, it’s OK not to have all the answers yourself.)

In life, you can wander around unimpressed with the world, or you can recognise that it’s imperfect and so are the people in it.

At the same time, there’s no reason to be mean to people or to belittle their efforts. If people are trying to help you out, even if you’re paying them to do so, there’s never an excuse to crap all over their efforts. You may think that what they’re doing isn’t right, nor helpful, but you still need to recognise the effort that has gone into it. Maybe you didn’t explain what you wanted well enough, maybe there’s a misunderstanding. Whatever it is, there’s no excuse for being graceless.

In life, you can wander around unimpressed with the world, or you can recognise that it’s imperfect and so are the people in it. Some people can’t get their heads around new things and rather than investigate, they prefer to attack people who introduce new ideas and indeed the ideas themselves. Don’t be one of these people. Keep an open mind. Be open to new people, experiences and situations. Be generous with your time, listen empathetically and try to bring the best out in people. And don’t just be nice to people who can help you out, be nice to everyone regardless of social position, occupation, age or beauty.

Whatever you do, please don’t be a dick. The world has enough of them already. We need more advocates for wonder and love, friendship and friendliness.

All my love,

Dad.