20 Choice Dad Jokes

Through all the collective groans and face-palms, you have to admit it: Dad Jokes are funny. It’s one of the understated perks of spawning a child of your own: you’re allowed to start spinning your favourites. It’s what dads do.

This ‘Dad Joke Duel’ is worth a look, but first, check out our selection of 20 of The Dad Website’s favourites:

Why did the dad at the calendar factory get fired?  
Because he took too many days off!

—

If prisons allowed prisoners to take their own mugshots, what would they be called? 
Cell-fies!

—

Did you hear about the man who invented the knock-knock joke? 
He won the No-Bell Prize!

—

“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.  
Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here!’”

—

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted!

—

Daughter: Dad, I’m thirsty… 
Dad: G’day Thirsty, I’m Friday!

—

Did you hear about the kid-napping at school?  
No, what happened? 
It’s OK, he woke up!

—

Bad at golf? Join the club.

—

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!

—

Why do crabs never give to charity?  
Because they’re shellfish!

—

Two antennas fell in love and got married.
The ceremony was terrible but the reception was fantastic!

—

I just ate a frozen apple. It was hardcore!

—

I burnt my Hawaiian frozen pizza last night… I should’ve put it on aloha setting!

—

“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places”  
Doctor: “Well, don’t go to those places!”

—

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? 
You look for the fresh prints!

—

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games.  
He said “wii“!

—

A furniture store keeps calling me. 
But all I wanted was one-night stand!

—

Melon 1: Do you want to run away and get married? 
Melon 2: Sorry but I cantaloupe!

—

Q: What time did the man go to the dentist?  
A: Tooth hurt-y!

—

I’ll call you later. 
Don’t call me ‘later’, call me Dad!

—

Head along to this Twitter account out for other doozies.