Andy Murphy, a.k.a. The Secure Dad
Andy Murphy is the brains – and the words – behind The Secure Dad. Married with a four-year-old son, he is currently working to become a published children’s author. We lock him in (see what we did there?) for a few questions about blogging, home security and, naturally, fatherhood.
The Secure Dad: the whys and hows.
In trying to become a children’s author I discovered that real authors need a blog. I didn’t have one so I took the time to create one. All the advice I read said to blog about something you’re passionate about. I’ve always been passionate about family safety and security. But the blog is more than that. It is to help guys feel secure in their home, secure in their fatherhood and secure in their faith.
Home security entwined with fatherhood.
The blog launched in multiple directions with security and fatherhood. I’m passionate about helping people stay safe, but I didn’t want to be safety all the time, or doom and gloom every day. So the fatherhood element really brings the blog up and discusses issues that all dads have. And a few funny stories along the way, like smashing a smoke alarm at 1am…
Fathers are called to be leaders and protectors.
Not to say that moms can’t, but as men we are called here especially. A man does need to know how to keep his family safe in public and at home from a variety of threats. As dads we need to make sure our homes and families are prepared for bad weather and fires because not all threats are human.
A welcomed life transition.
I always knew that I wanted to be a good dad. I am fortunate to have a great father in my life. Fatherhood means that I am accountable for more than just myself. I am responsible for my wife and son and their well being before I am concerned with my own situation. Fatherhood sometimes means doing stuff you don’t want to do, like sit up with a crying child at 1am. That happened to me five times in one night just this week. But overall fatherhood is a selfless love for your family.
Consistency: my biggest fatherhood challenge.
As a dad you are never off the clock. Your responsibilities never stop. So being consistent with my attitude, actions and discipline can be a struggle at times.
Deadbeat dads, yes, but respect is on the rise.
In the United States, where I am, the term “deadbeat dad” still exists. Fatherhood has a minimum requirement of showing up. Some men don’t even do that. But the good dads show up, play, laugh, comfort and feed as a real parent should. Overall I feel that fathers are being respected more and more.
Fatherhood means that I am accountable for more than just myself…
Don’t be afraid.
If you have struggles in your life that you feel will hinder you from being a dad, then you are fooling yourself. Fear is not a real reason to back out of fatherhood. Making a mistake isn’t a valid reason to struggle. I make mistakes frequently. Some mistakes result in funny family stories that will be told for years and others are forgotten the next day. You won’t be the perfect dad, but you will be perfect for your kids.
I love my family and they come first in my life. I can say I view world situations much differently now that I’m a dad. As a single man I might not be so concerned about families in Syria. Now that I’m a father I think about the world from a family point of view. That is good and it is bad. It’s good that I want families around the world to have the same freedom and peace that I have, but at the same time it’s not like that everywhere and it can lead to a lot of heartache.
Five things my son should know before he turns 18:
Jesus, love, self-reliance, how to cook and how to drive safely.