Expectation vs. Reality

Twelve years ago my wife and I bought a family home.

The house had a big backyard and I knew exactly where the backyard cricket pitch would go and where the soccer field would sit.

A local school was a short walk away and I had my first full-time job.

A couple of years later we had the first of our two kids (now 10 and eight).

Twelve years on and there has not been a single game of cricket or soccer played in the backyard, we don’t walk to the local school and it’s been nearly seven years since I’ve had a full-time job.

Since having kids my life had become a mess – a beautiful, delicious mess.

I had always imagined I’d be teaching my daughter how to play guitar but instead every Friday I take her roller derby training and I can’t skate so she teaches me how to skate and I ungracefully roll around the track trying to keep up with her.

I had imagined taking my son, who has autism, to a team sport every Saturday, but instead, we’re on the beach or in the bush where he is teaching me everything he has learned from David Attenborough – which is a lot.

I might not have worked in seven years but instead I’ve been a student and stay-at-home dad.

As a stay-at-home dad, I have learnt so much from my kids. I have learnt the amazing way that someone on the autism spectrum sees the world; I have learnt how to roller skate backwards; and how to breed Spiny Leaf stick insects.

I have learnt to cook for a fussy eater, where to buy socks for someone with sensory-processing issues, and that regular school doesn’t work for every kid.

I started parenting with a few expectations. Those were all smashed, but I still love learning how to be a dad to my two beautiful children.