20 choice Dad Jokes

Through all the collective groans and face-palms, you have to admit it: Dad Jokes are funny. It’s one of the understated perks of spawning a child of your own: you’re allowed to start spinning your favourites. It’s what dads do.

This ‘Dad Joke Duel’ is worth a look, but first, check out our selection of 20 of The Dad Website’s favourites:

Why did the dad at the calendar factory get fired?  
Because he took too many days off!

If prisons allowed prisoners to take their own mugshots, what would they be called? 

Did you hear about the man who invented the knock-knock joke? 
He won the No-Bell Prize!

“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.  
Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here!’”

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted!

Daughter: Dad, I’m thirsty… 
Dad: G’day Thirsty, I’m Friday!

Did you hear about the kid-napping at school?  
No, what happened? 
It’s OK, he woke up!

Bad at golf? Join the club.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!

Why do crabs never give to charity?  
Because they’re shellfish!

Two antennas fell in love and got married.
The ceremony was terrible but the reception was fantastic!

I just ate a frozen apple. It was hardcore!

I burnt my Hawaiian frozen pizza last night… I should’ve put it on aloha setting!

“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places”  
Doctor: “Well, don’t go to those places!”

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? 
You look for the fresh prints!

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games.  
He said “wii“!

A furniture store keeps calling me. 
But all I wanted was one-night stand!

Melon 1: Do you want to run away and get married? 
Melon 2: Sorry but I cantaloupe!

Q: What time did the man go to the dentist?  
A: Tooth hurt-y!

I’ll call you later. 
Don’t call me ‘later’, call me Dad!

Head along to this Twitter account out for other doozies.

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